There’s the obvious: drink lots of water. Your own water, not the water from the bottle belonging to that dude standing next to you dressed like a unicorn because you’re in a desert and just so thirsty. He probably isn’t magical.
Bad move. Thankfully, we enjoy a digital age in which technology can save us from our own laziness and ineptitude. There’s a mobile solution or service for almost everything, festival foibles included, and you can get ‘em all with a swipe across your screen. Just don’t blame us when you can’t get a signal and are stuck in a dead zone at the festival’s not-so-hot spots.
1. Insomniac: EDC Las Vegas 2015 App
Speaking of dead zones, the people who throw the parties know that the signal struggle is real. That’s why Insomniac has created an app with features that function using Bluetooth. No signal? No problem. A network of iBeacons set up around EDC mean that the app can use Bluetooth to help you do essential things like find your friends and notify you when you’re near a hydration station. (See, no need to drink that strange dude’s water.) The most clutch feature: a GPS parking spot locator. Because there’s no way you’ll find your rental at 5am in a sea of identical four-door compacts. Don’t worry, the parking lot usually has cell service. Free for iOS and Android
2. Maverick Helicopters
It’s clear that we’ve really evolved as a species when you can use your mobile phone to request a heli on-demand. This is a far cry from Uber, but it’s uber cooler than sitting in traffic. If your wallet can support the cost, hitch a 15-minute ride to Las Vegas Motor Speedway in a chopper to avoid the 20 miles of vehicular traffic and shuttle sharing with other peasants. Per person: $500 one-way, $800 round trip, maverickhelicopter.com
3. Hangover Heaven Bus
What’s better than a hangover cure? A hangover cure on wheels will do it. The Hangover Heaven Bus caters to night owls partying past their limits in Vegas (nothing we’re familiar with!) with IV therapy, shots and supplements to help prevent the pain. Hangover Heaven claims to cure a hangover in as little as 30 minutes and flashing your EDC pass will get you a free B12 shot with any IV purchase. Too sick to move? Book a House Call to your hotel room using the app. We don’t know if they can rid that Calvin Harris tattoo off your body that you had inked whilst inebriated but the B12 may help you feel less anxious about it. Starting at $129 , hangoverheaven.com
Ever wonder what all that partying does to your insides? A blood testing analytics service called Inside Tracker will tell you just how much your body has aged after 72 hours of questionable choices. The best part: They’ll bring the lab to you. Order an InnerAge blood test in advance on your smartphone and add the White Glove Service for an extra charge. A licensed phlebotomist will arrive at a location of your choosing to draw your blood. Hotel room or EDC main stage? Way better than a doctor’s office. The results are delivered via email. Starting at $99, insidetracker.com
5. Heart Rate by Azumio App
If you have an Apple Watch or for some reason plan on wearing your Fitbit to monitor caloric expenditure while raving, skip this. For everyone else with a mere smartphone, download this app for free. You can grab your own pulse in seconds, which will come in handy. Between the heat, crowds, dancing, drinking and whatever-else-you-may-be-doing in the desert, which we don’t want to know about, it’s a wise safety tool to have on hand. It can also double as a handy prop for cheesy pick-up lines. Free for iOS and Android
6. Mophie H2Pro
Mophie has gone beyond juice and become waterproof. Yes, you’re in a desert. No, there won’t be rain. But those portable toilets you’ll be squatting over will come replete with pools of their own. If your beloved iPhone falls into one, it’s a wrap. If you fall into one, Mophie can’t help. But at least your friends will be able to document the carnage using your cesspool-proof device. The Mophie H2Pro exceeds military standards and while we’re not exactly sure what that means, we’re pretty sure it exceeds EDC standards too. $129.95 compatible with iPhone6, mophie.com
7. Battery Doctor App
Your phone is going to die. It just is. As with the law of gravity, there’s no arguing a fundamental truth. If for some reason you choose to ignore our Mophie suggestion, snagging a free app that helps preserve your phone’s precious juice can’t hurt. The app is also good for regular life, when you’re not covered in colored beads and filth. Duh. Free for iOS and Android
8. SitOrSquat by Charmin App
“To poop or not to poop? That is the question.” Less existential than the original phrase, but no less critical! Those portable potties are vile and we know it. Still, some are less nuclear than others. The “public restroom finder” component of this app allows you to both search for and add restroom locations; a festival goldmine. Better yet, it allows people to rate and review each loo. When it comes to EDC, this is mostly for shits and giggles. But wouldn’t you rather giggle than shit in misery? Free for iOS and Android
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