"My ego couldn’t take that I wasn’t the top dog anymore. That’s when things started to unravel," explained Eric Morrilo to Pete Tong during his keynote discussion at yesterday’s IMS.
One of the most startling revelations was how close the Subliminal boss came to losing an arm due to ketamine addiction.
"I did actually. I have a nice scar that, funnily enough, looks like my company logo,” explained the producer.
But his battle with addiction almost cost him so much more. "At one point, I couldn't even urinate. Every time I tried, it would be stuck and the pain meant I had to go to hospital where they put me to sleep. When I woke up, they had slashed some of my arm off because it was so infected from putting ketamine in it."
It was three trips to rehab that brought the producer back from the brink, "the first rehab, I went for someone else. Second rehab, I went for court. The third, I finally went for myself."
The road to recovery has been a long one admitted Morillo, explaining that getting arrested three times and having a messy divorce were contributing factors in his spiral toward drugs and depression.
“I started making music and playing music I didn’t love," Morillo said. "That’s when things started to get really bad."
"I’m just doing it for love - literally. I used to say that, but now I fucking mean it."