Imagine strolling to the door of your local club. Instead of their usual dissatisfied snort, the doormen welcome you in with the cheery greeting of a long lost family friend. Once inside familiar hands are shaken, as the few alien faces offer instant smiles. Odd. As you settle on the cosy dancefloor the two residents drop everything from the latest DFA promo to obscure '70s disco, surge into a '92 hardcore cut, dip into '60s surf-rock before levelling out with a 12-year old Carl Craig beauty. But wherever their taste takes them, the crowd follows them every step of the way.
This is Glasgow institution the Sub Club - home of JD & Twitch's cult Sunday party Optimo.
As each working week looms, the duo dispel with era and genre concerns in their search for classic tunes that capture the present moments. Each week, live guests like Cut Copy, Alter Ego and Padded Cell write the sonic sicknotes for their unpretentious congregation.
But with equal threading to the Sub Club's rich fabric is Saturday's weekly Subculture. Run by stalwart residents Harri and Domenic, the pair might be touching middle-age but they're still pushing the freshest deep DJ sets in the city, whilst their faultless programming covers guests like Prins Thomas, Carl Craig, Andrew Weatherhall and Steve Bug.
Born back in of April 1987, the venue affectionately known as 'Subby' has grained the entire evolution of Glasgow's tight-knit house scene. The neighbouring Arches may be Slam's spiritual home but they enjoyed their first residency - Joy Fridays - in the Sub Club back in 1989.
Glasgow's tech-funk legend DJ Q ran a Thursday night here in the '90s, and after popping his clubbing cherry here, Milton Jackson still regularly pops in for a spot of clubbing.
Ralph Lawson, meanwhile, describes it as "simply the best house club in the world".
But despite Lawson's cheeky suggestion that Subby's magic is "in the Irn Bru", the real secret to its success lies in those behind it.
"Everyone who works there, from the owners to the door staff to the glass collectors, has been a diehard clubber," explains Optimo's JD Twitch, aka Keith McIvor. "They've experienced just how bad clubs can be but also how good they can be - how they should be inclusive rather than elitist.
"The actual space and intimacy is very, very special," he adds. "As a DJ it's a delight to play, and as a promoter they're great people to work with. From the start, the owners were very receptive to the spirit of Optimo. Back in 1997 any other club owners would have told us to take a run and jump but they had the vision that this could be something popular. We didn't, we were just doing it for a laugh. No-one came for the first year and most other clubs would have shown us the door. But they stuck by it."
Is the Sub Club the best little local club in the world? There's no probably about it.