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Alison Wonderland: “At my lowest point, I tried to kill myself”

In a new interview, the producer discusses her experiences with emotional abuse, depression and anxiety…

In a new interview, Alison Wonderland has discussed her past experiences with emotional abuse relating to a toxic relationship, a harsh struggle that drove her to the point of an attempted suicide.

Speaking to The Feed on SBS VICELAND in her native Australia, Alison Wonderland recently opened up in an emotional on-camera interview where she candidly discussed a number of events in her life, including experiences with an abusive relationship, depression and anxiety, that caused her to try to take her own life.

“I was stuck in something pretty bad for a while,” she said. “I was seeing a lot people with addiction problems. I dealt with a couple of deaths. Adding to that, not spending time at home very much and being alone with your own thoughts — all of that stuff doesn’t really add to a great mental perspective on the outside world.”

She went on to further discuss the emotional abuse she experienced in a past romantic relationship.

“I was completely disintegrating,” she said, nearly coming to tears. “It was a very tough time. I wasn't eating. I wasn't talking to anyone. It was literally destroying me. I couldn't remember what was good about me. I couldn't remember why anyone would even like me. I couldn't remember why I was even here. And at my lowest point, I tried to kill myself.”

She went on to discuss how writing her sophomore album, ‘Awake’, helped her overcome this episode.

“I read the lyrics going, ‘OK, there’s a problem here,’” she said. “I was at this point where it’s like you can either sink or swim, and I just decided to swim. I decided to get out of it. I can’t really help being honest in my songs. It’s how I let things out.”

She ends the interview with a positive message aimed toward people who may be facing similar emotional struggles.

“There’s always a light at the end of any tunnel,” she said. “You can always turn things around. You can always pull yourself out of it. And don’t be too embarrassed or proud to admit when you are feeling down. Like call someone, because if you can catch it before it gets really bad, you can actually snap out of it a little bit easier.” 

The interview comes only weeks after EDM superstar Avicii died of an apparent suicide. Following his death, his family released a statement that called the famed producer “an over-achieving perfectionist who travelled and worked hard at a pace that led to extreme stress.” 

“When he stopped touring,” the statement continued, “he wanted to find a balance in life to be happy and be able to do what he loved most – music. He really struggled with thoughts about Meaning, Life, Happiness. He could not go on any longer. He wanted to find peace.”

A number of electronic artists have since reacted to Avicii’s death, with Armin van Buuren calling his passing “a wake-up call” for the dance music industry and Luciano releasing a statement about addiction and rehab.

Watch the full interview with Alison Wonderland below.

Read our tribute to Avicii.

John Ochoa is the editor-at-large of DJ Mag North America. You can find him living his best life on Twitter.

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